My long lost dad would have been 76 years old today and I would be calling him to tell him happy birthday.
But if I called him now he wouldn’t answer the phone anymore, and that is sad because I really want to talk to him.
He left the world just over two years ago and it still doesn’t feel like he is gone for some reason. I guess I am just not good at accepting death and the fact that I will never see my dad again. He taught me about air conditioning systems, old dial thermostat repair, and how to tune up an old oil furnace. He taught me many things, but I guess he never taught me about letting go and acceptance because I just can’t seem to shake this sadness and feeling of loss after two years. Anytime I have to do an HVAC repair job at a customer’s house I still catch myself looking over my shoulder for my dad’s lovely smile and green eyes. I guess he was supposed to go when he did, but being stuck overseas and not seeing him before he left will forever bother me. I just need to keep on plugging away working for the heating and cooling supplier and believe that I will find real peace and happiness again in my life. It wasn’t just my dad I lost, a month after dad died my girlfriend moved out and then I lost all my savings on bad investment choices because I wasn’t thinking clearly. The only good news is, I don’t have much more to lose!